Gone Are The Days

... that our lives will be blessed with seeing, hearing, and touching our beautiful Nugget.  Never again will I be able to gaze into the sparkling layers of those imploring brown eyes that I swear were like marbles with swirls of magical color.  I forced myself to memorize those eyes.  Words cannot describe how different they were compared to my other babies, and to any other human's for that matter.   I will never again feel his sweet golden curls that lined his spine showing hints of red nor feel the soft velvet gold that graced the top of his head or the thick mass of tangled fur along his chest that often developed into a matted mess.  He didn't bark much or whine. He was the patriarc of the pack though he was patient and good.  He never attacked a stray who wandered on the farm allowing Sammy and Coty to join the family though they knew he ruled.  He got so excited and happy seeing Mama and Daddy at the door and at meal time he whirled in dizzying tight circles.  He so loved his nightly pettings from his Daddy and his brushings from Mama that should there be a pause from a tired human hand, his persistant paw would offer a firm reminder to continue.  In his younger days, he watched my every move while I went down to the barn for the nightly feed, guarding and waiting for my return.  Words cannot describe the perennial ache in my heart with the realization that he is gone. I loved my boy, I love him still though he is gone for good, gone on March 13th 2012. 

He looked good in the first photo but not so much in the one above. These were taken only a couple of days before his last breaths.  He knew what I was doing, he knew it was near the end and tried his best to look good.  So many times he looked away from the imposing black thing that made snapping noises and flashed strange lights.  But on this day, he stood there giving me a lasting image of his beautiful body. 

He loved people, and was so gentle with children.  Everyone loved him, even his stern old Grandfather.  :)  I often wonder if my daddy and Nugget see eachother in heaven?

It was back in September when we found out.  I quit blogging due to being so busy in the summer and planned on getting back into it come fall but an emergency visit to the ER due to Nugget's anorexia (it is called anorexia when they choose to refuse food for more than one feeding) put a stop to any life's normal activities.  He spent two nights, was on IV's and we were told he had pancreatits.  His Bun levels were slightly off.  I questioned this but was told that is normal.  I took him to our normal vet who said everything was fine and then it happened again.  Remembering an important phrase from my days in real estate I decided to go elsewhere.  "Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results".  The new vet had repaired Nugget's ACL, but distance kept me from using him on a regular basis.   Long story short, my baby had heart cancer and they extracted 220 cc's of fluid that gathered in the sac that surrounds the heart.  The tumor was right on the heart making surgery very difficult with a chance that he would pass under the knife. He was also in kidney failure.  So that day until March, he was immediately taken off his Rimadyl, put on a few other meds and I elected to give him subcutanious fluids every three days.  We went nowhere, we never left him more than three hours and our lives were totally dedicated in giving him the best care possible.  I do believe the fluids helped him as the kidney failure seemed gone, his blood values were normal, etc. The Azodyl was exceptional in helping with the appetite, but I could do nothing about the cancer.  I thought all was good near Christmas when he had a check up and I shed tears of joy but in February we were told it spread to the spleen.  His stomach area began to swell with fluid.  His comfort level diminished, his eyes lacked sparkle, he no longer got up for food and it seemed time.  I prayed and prayed and I asked Nugget to tell me.  It seemed he didn't want to go which broke our hearts.  He tried to hang on to the very end even resisting the sedative given prior to the death shot.  His dear heart continued to struggle and I heard its quiet beat with the stethescope, then it was time.  Little Bear layed near him, Princess knew and lied beside him on his bed.  Sammy stayed under the dining room table.  Coty seemed normal and unaware and the other kitties remained quiet.  It was so strange that my dear little Princess knew and wanted to comfort him and poor Little Bear was forced to experience another death of her loved one with her brother Jack dying years ago. 

Rest in peace my dear Nugget.  I do believe we will see eachother again when we shed our earthly bodies and our souls rise to a new level hopefully Heaven where we will be joined once again.  Please be there to greet me my dear boy when it is my time to go, I want to see your beautiful face and be surrounded by your undying love.  I will love you forever my boy, my Nugget.

Red, White and BLUE!

Happy Independence Day!  Here's hoping you had a wonderful time with family and friends.  Look at Blue!  He is such a patient pony for his crazy mama....what a good boy!  All is well at the farm and we are busy with gardening, mowing, and planting.  Blue and I are getting ready for a little show soon which keeps me busy getting him in show shape, and fine tuning our communication with eachother.  The doggies and kitties are well, but some stray dogs have recently been chasing my fawns which anger me to no end.  I need to blog more but there is still so much to do outside and aside from cleaning our home and completing some graphic design projects, it is difficult to keep me in.  :-)  Take care bloggie buddies and I hope you have a wonderful week!

Father and Flowers

Hello dear bloggers, it certainly has been awhile...I sure hope you are enjoying your Father's Day celebrations.  It is not a great day for me, Dad is gone now as most of you know...since 2008.  He is gone  forever as I knew him....But his spirit lives on through me; his love of flowers and nature has passed to most of his children with me having a bit more than my siblings.  His thumb was much greener than mine but hopefully with time, my efforts will improve.

Spring was rainy, the month of May was a grey misty blur as each day wore on, the sun decided to shine elsewhere leaving our area saturated, flooded and sloppy wet.  The ponies could not be turned out, our  entrance area flooded, the pond developed a sink hole draining lot of the water and it was dangerous to mow the wet muddy hills.  The green grass was very happy as it almost looked like a jungle on our farm.  I must not complain though, we have been fortunate to still have our home unlike so many who suffered from those evil tornadoes.  Bless those poor souls who had to endure such misery.

Thankfully as May moved on, the rains ceased their daily torment and June allowed us to get out in our gardens.  The huge Man Garden has just been plowed and planted.  The good husband and his brother planted their usual corn, cucumbers, green beans and tomatoes but decided to cut back so I planted some pumpkins and blueberry bushes.

 

My nostalgia for both my grandmothers has come forth with a fever as I planted some hollyhocks that were six foot tall!  They are biennials so I won't see them next year and hopefully my little hollyhocks from last year will come back.  I have added some more phlox as it seems to love the back garden and grew many babies this year.  I have also added evening of primrose and delphiniums in a new little shaded bed, though the larkspur despises me and refused to enjoy the special soil and shade I provided for it, so forget that species.  It is too hot here and they prefer a different area.  My foxgloves love the front yard and hated the back yard as the brick radiated too much heat.  I remember Dad saying he used to trap bees in the blooms by squeezing the ends.  Poor bees, thankfully he released the bloom and allowed the poor things to escape.  Silly Dad, he was a demon when he was a kid! :)

Speaking of demons, as I was photographing my blue hydrangeas, Cricket, the mean lean killing machine, lived up to his reputation much to my chagrine!  He was enjoying following his 'Grammie' around while I snapped the pics but when I approached the new little flower bed, he disappeared.  I didn't think much of it until I heard the loud clicking of a Flicker.  That darned cat was up  in the hawthorn bushes and raided the nest capturing a helpless new born bird baby.  I heard its little screams of pain as my head was in the branches trying to find Cricket who was way up top!  My screams pierced the quiet morning as I attempted to get the bird from his huge fangs but he ran away into a wooded area full of poision ivy.  I ventured in only to see him gobble the entire baby within seconds.  By the way, poison ivy attacked me with a vengeance a few weeks ago, so badly that I had to go in and get a shot.  My lower arm swelled days afterwards so I thought I had better get some professional help.  The shot eliminated the swelling but not the itching.

The deer have all delivered except Peanut who if you remember had her little Autumn in September.  I am shocked that Brownie already gave birth.  I knew they all would be early this year as they went into heat in the beginning of October and the boys were crazy in rutt.  So far, they have not introduced me to their babies yet.  Bossy does hide her baby in the brush while she eats corn.   I can hear his thin little calls.  There for awhile I did not see Bossy or Brownie which worried me but just a few days ago they graced me with their beautiful presense and now come back more frequently.  Shy Girl has trusted me and hidden her baby close to the barn.

There is still so much more to do on the farm to catch up from months of wet weather.  I look forward to July when all of my flowers will be in full bloom and the pumpkins begin to grow.  Happy Father's Day to you dear Dad.  I miss you tremendously but somehow feel comforted when I am tending to all of the flowers.  And to you bloggy buddies, thanks for your patience and keeping Farm Tails on your favorites list.  I truly appreciate that and have popped in from time to time to read your posts.  Have a happy day! 

My British Babe!

Jessie was very excited to celebrate the marriage of William and Catherine now known as the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge.  Wasn't Princess Catherine amazing?  After seeing all of the hats, Jessie wanted one of her own.  How could I deny her?

Look how demure she looks! :-)

Jessie! Be careful, you'll tear your pretty white ties!

Don't worry Blue, you will have a hat of your own soon....

Jessie couldn't wait till Mama ended this silliness so she could roll in the mud and graze.

Daddy Cat, stop looking at the pretty hat with such disdain!  Do you want one?

I guess getting up that early has taken it's toll....lol! I originally purchased hats for them to wear on Derby Day and will make Big Bad Blue one of his own so you will have to visit next Saturday to see it.  Ohhhh yea, he is going to wear a hat whether he likes it or not...all horses must celebrate Derby Day!  Blue you can do it!
(Linking up with Verde Farm on Farm Friend Friday)